Having a Purpose

This marks the beginning of my 30th year leading vision quests. During this time, I’ve witnessed remarkable changes in many people. But beyond the particular individuals, I’ve seen how life and lives can be transformed by a sense of purpose and direction… transformed in ways that can seem almost unimaginable, ways that can make all the difference in the world.

Many people are upset by recent events, at a loss for how to respond, wondering where to find a sense of belonging and how to lead meaningful lives that make a difference in today’s world. I’m convinced the answer is not “out there,” and we’ll need to stop seeing the source of our problems – and therefore the solutions – as requiring external circumstances or other people to change.

An old quote states, “Wind extinguishes a candle but fuels a fire.” Powerful storms are raging in the world. But the consequences remain unknown and may depend on whether we can meet them having found a sense of purpose – with hearts ablaze – or are buffeted to and fro like sputtering candles. I’d like to share some thoughts on finding that sense of purpose below…

Purpose: Do you feel like you have a sense of purpose? Studies at Dominican University, Virginia Tech report 80% of Americans don’t have a purpose or goals, yet virtually all the research about success and satisfaction in life shows the importance of – in small ways and large — having a sense of direction. Purpose is a core theme in the vision quest work I’ve done for three decades,

On a quest, before someone participates, they’re asked to write a “letter of intent,” describing their hopes, longings, and purpose in undertaking the quest. Those intentions could vary from severance — leaving behind something that’s toxic or disempowering — to finding and claiming their gift, what they’re here to bring into this world. But starting with intention is crucial. It becomes the organizing principle that weaves the many moments, experiences, and encounters with self, nature, and Spirit into something deep and meaningful, something that can be brought back and lived out in the world.

A vision quest can be a crash course for learning about focus, purpose, and direction, and occasionally the results can seem miraculous. A woman intent on reclaiming her femininity menstruates for the first time in a dozen years… someone losing thick, prescription glasses is suddenly able to see perfectly… a man yearning to know he’s welcome in the world has mourning doves land on his chest. Though some stories are like this, more lessons about focus and purpose come in ways with practical applications to our daily lives.

It’s easy to forget that we see the world the way we are – not the way it is. Modern physics will tell you quite clearly there’s no objective world out there. The world we perceive results from the attention we give it, the lens we view it through. Having direction and purpose – an internally-generated order of values and commitments — provides a lens that can remain constant through the shifting winds and fads of the day. To the extent this focus is there, the odds of being fueled rather than extinguished by the approaching storms becomes much greater.

Imagine there’s a board 6-8 inches wide lying on the ground. You stand on one end of the board. At the other end, about 50 feet away, sits a $100 bill, and you’re told that if you can walk the length of that board without stepping off into the grass, you can have the $100. Almost everyone reading this could do it easily. But now the piece of lumber is raised up, suspended 100 feet in the air, and you are given the same challenge or task. What happens? Most will lose balance, start shaking, and pin-wheel off the board because the focus has shifted.

On the ground the concern was almost wholly on that $100, but now we think, “What if I fall?” and imagine the pain and broken limbs. Energy flows where attention goes… and now the attention, the focus, has been moved to the fall, pain, and danger. It’s no longer on the goal. As we think about approaching times and challenges in our lives — relationships, work situations, the political climate – where do we want our focus to be? Seeing the source of our problems – and therefore the solutions – as “out there,” and needing external circumstances or other people to change, takes the focus off work we can and need to do, right here and right now.

In a Harvard experiment in the 1950s, rats were put into high-sided buckets that contained swirling water to see how long they could swim. (PS: I don’t like animal testing either) On average, a rat would swim for 15 minutes before it gave up and succumbed. Then, right before drowning, some rats were rescued, dried off, and given a short rest before being placed back into the bucket… where they proceeded to swim for an average of 60 hours!!

What happened? The simple answer is the rats had been given hope. Having experienced exhaustion and rescue, when stressed again, they somehow carried an expectation of a positive and better outcome. The most basic definition of hope is an expectation the future will be better than the present. That lens – whether true or not – increased their energy for dealing with their situation 240 fold!

Whatever our current crisis, repeating familiar stories of who we think is good or bad, and for what reasons, is not useful. Those conversations leave us feeling self-righteous or like a victim, and neither of those stances are powerful. They distance us from the world and support disengagement. Finding perspectives, wisdom, and tools that inoculate us against hopelessness and resignation — tools that keep us energized and afloat so we don’t go down when the storm hits – is a far better use of our time and energy.

Looking at the stars in the night sky – two to three thousand on a clear night – the stars are facts. They exist outside us and can’t be changed. But the constellations we see are created by our imaginations — no lines connect the dots — and therefore somewhat arbitrary. Whether we see a sleek ocean vessel, Daffy Duck, or Darth Vader has to do with us and not the sky. The same is true with the state of the world. The “facts,” like stars in the sky,are numerous enough to create many pictures, pictures that could be described as depressing, an exciting challenge, or totally irrelevant to our lives. The lens we are looking through will define our “reality,” and be crucial in terms of how we respond to whatever we’re observing.

For 30 years I’ve been privileged to guide and witness people who’ve chosen to do something difficult, going without food, distractions, and human interactions for four days and nights while plumbing the depths of their joys and sorrows. I’ve regularly witnessed the resulting fire and passion when people claim their gifts, authentic voice, and purpose.

Doing most anything worthwhile is difficult – ask Martin Luther King, Steve Jobs, or Michael Phelps – but that at the end of the difficulty you have something worthwhile, an accomplishment or a strengthening of the heart. I’m convinced that avoiding or lamenting our difficulties goes nowhere. As Carlos Castaneda said, “The trick is in what we emphasize. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” Difficult times may be coming. Perhaps they always are. It’s how we rise to meet them that makes the difference.
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