The Fertile Darkness

Approaching the Winter Solstice, we enter the darkest time of the year. Yet, this time, though dark, is referred to as “the Holidays” (Holy Days) and — lasting from Thanks-giving to Christmas – associated with gratitude and the giving of gifts.

What gifts do we want to give in these dark times? What light or warmth do we want to bring to the world… to whom?

It’s in those times of cold and darkness that it becomes ever more important that we not shrink back, that we feed our fire and bring forth it’s warmth and light to help guide the way home.

There’s a Greek myth in which the Gods come down to earth and visit a small village. Disguised as beggars – unwashed, unkempt, with tattered clothes and tangled hair — they knock on doors, asking for food. Most of the villagers avoid them, pretending to be absent, while others deny their requests or hurl rubbish at them to chase them away.

But on rare occasions a door opens, and they’re welcomed into a homestead and given food. When this happens, the Gods take off their disguises to reveal their true natures — the Goddess of Love or Creativity, the God of Wealth or Wisdom – and these gifts are bestowed upon the inhabitants.

Life often appears cold and callous. It’s offensive and messy; it doesn’t look like we want it to. People can be superficial, selfish, mean, or greedy. Ugliness knocks on the door in news reports, Facebook posts, and Twitter feeds. Wars are waged for profit; powerful institutions poison and plunder the earth; the mighty prey on the weak. The system seems heartless and rigged, the Emperor a tyrant with an ugly orange comb-over.

And still this world needs our love. Somehow, we must turn towards it and not away. We must answer the door and find a way – our way – to bring the force of our love and generosity, the power of our mature adult self forward and not back away.

Hardening Off:

Trees that grow strong and endure have undergone a process that hasn’t happened to saplings – they’ve “hardened off.” Over time, a tree will suffer wind, cold, and storms. It will get injured, wounded, its inner life exposed to the elements. Its heartwood is delicate, but the tree doesn’t stop growing. Protection is created; defensive scars thicken around the wound.

The first winter’s cold begins the unavoidable hardening off of the tender cells around the heart of the tree. But the tree doesn’t obsess or live in those wounds; it doesn’t crack itself open to take it all in or revisit it forever. It grows bark on the outside and hardens the heartwood on the inside in ways that will not block growth. It continues to blossom, bloom, and send out new branches.

We were once innocent and tender. We too were wounded and hurt, poisoned by the pollution of a harsh world. But no one gets to remain innocent and pure forever. If one never learns to act, to create safety or shelter against the cold or storm, one remains a baby. Trees that have endured challenge leaf out anyway. They develop strength to with-stand – to stand with, and within – a harsh and challenging world… to protect the heart(wood) and hold fast to the living earth while storms and winds come to uproot them.

“Wherever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese – harsh and exciting –   over and over announcing your place in the family of things.”

~ Mary Oliver, “The Wild Geese.”

Mary Oliver tells us that no matter the circumstances, the world is speaking, calling to us. But the world (Nature) is not sweet and nice; it’s “harsh and exciting.” Therefore, to the extent we choose to acknowledge our own “nature,” we must be harsh and exiting as well. Any pretense that we are otherwise – that we are innocent, children of the light, or simply divine – is a commitment to remain children and avoid our responsibility to act. Doing so leads to feelings of powerlessness, that we are a victim of the big, bad world out there… a victim of “them.”

Today, as we enter this time of outer and inner darkness, we are called to walk forward, to approach this challenging world, and…

— Open the door to the bracing winds and darkness that shatter our comfort and make us more committed, resilient, and stronger.
— Welcome those unattractive, offensive Gods – masquerading as derelict – that bear gifts we will never see until we embrace them.
— Kiss the ugly frog and say “Yes” to the “harsh and exciting” life within us, which – when we meet the harsh life around us with our own rawness and passion – will confirm our place in the family of life again.

This world asks — demands — that we meet it with our commitment and love. Strong and healthy adults do that, and — cold and dark times notwithstanding — that is exactly what we’re meant to be.

Happy “holidays”…         ~ Sparrow Hart, December 2018